Secondhand Reviews: "Friends With Benefits"

Rated R for strong language, sexual situations and nudity.

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Starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher in the story of... what? Oh, yeah... wrong movie. But that's understandable. Switch the names of the lead players and you have a virtual remake (or I suppose they'd call it "re-imagining" these days) of "No Strings Attached". And it faces all the same problems that the earlier movie did in achieving something worthwhile with such a worn-out and predictable premise. The surprise? That even with stars as talented as this, and a director who had previously made the sharp and funny "Easy A", this movie still isn't as good as its predecessor... which, considering that movie's lack of inspiration, isn't saying much.

For any who might still need the details: Timberlake and Kunis play Dylan and Jamie, two rising young professionals who have had worse luck than would seem possible with the romantic relationships. Having both just gone through bad breakups, they've determined that they're finished with romance. Then when Dylan is recruited to New York by "head hunter" Jamie, the two hit it off and form an instant attraction. What to do? Why, obviously, yet another agreement to meet strictly for sex, with no emotional attachment. As you would expect, it isn't that easy.

It would be easier to take this movie if it didn't spend so much time mocking the cliches of old-hat romantic comedies. You see the pair sitting in front of a TV watching a typical romcom (which doesn't exist... it was made exclusively for this film) starring Jason Segel, and pointing out all the formula moments, asking why do romantic movies always have to be so phony like this... and then it succumbs to all the same cliches and plot twists, ending on such an insanely over-the-top note that it makes the conclusion of the most insanely wild romcom seem reserved and tame. That said, I did really enjoy a few moments of the "film within the film", and genuinely cracked up at the way the fake movie (filmed in LA but set in New York) has two characters riding down the street with Grauman's Chinese Theatre in the background and palm trees on the street exclaiming "Look, it's the Statue Of Liberty!" If only the REAL movie could have been that funny.

I also thought there were a few brief moments of promise at the very beginning of the movie, as we watch the two break up with their exes. Those scenes really DO play with audience expectations, the way the rest of the movie PRETENDS to do. Plus, the actors playing their exes (including a brief cameo by Emma Stone as Timberlake's ex) are teriffic. From there it's all downhill except for the film within the film. Timberlake has been such a surprisingly strong actor in other movies (especially "The Social Network", of course) that his bland, uninvolved performance as a bland, uninvolving and rather unlikable character can't fail to disappoint. And while Mila Kunis is full of energy and gives a performance that just refuses to be contained by the screen, it's all in the service of a character who keeps contradicting who she's supposed to be, in a movie that never seems sure what it WANTS to be (other than a film that never colors outside the lines).

I also can't help but resent the way that it wastes so many OTHER talented performers. Oscar-nominees, too. Patricia Clarkson plays Kunis' mother as every flaky 60's burn-out you've ever seen, trying to help her daughter but never quite coming down to planet earth. The wonderful, perpetually under-used Richard Jenkins is even more under-used here as Timberlake's father, whose Alzheimer's disease seems to be exploited as both a device for tasteless comedy AND a totally failed attempt at giving the movie some pathos. But hey, Woody Harrelson is in it too, as a co-worker of Timberlake, and he's ALWAYS good, right? Well, almost... except that here he's saddled with a role that is made up of bits and pieces of every gay stereotype ever featured in every movie that has ever featured such stereotypes. Not much funny there.

This is exactly the movie I would have expected given the premise and a cast and crew made up of no-names and no-talents. Given the quality of cast & crew on this movie, though, it's more than just a disappointment, it's a near tragedy. If you seem to notice that I haven't written much about the actual central relationship here, it's because there really isn't anything more to say about it that I didn't already say in my review of "No Strings Attached", except that Portman and Kutcher at least played more likable characters, even if they weren't any funnier. In all likelihood, everyone involved here, including director Will Gluck, will recover and do better work in the future and not have to think back too much or too often on this film. And audiences who see it will forget it even quicker than the participants... and if they do remember bits of it from time to time, they'll probably remember having seen them in "No Strings Attached".